The Tom who stole Catmas
by fdggf
Summary: Macavity and his sidekick try to steal Catmas what will happen?I dnt own cats people! but i live in denial
1. Chapter 1

Authors Note: I Put Catmas instead of Christmas because Jellicle cats probably don't even know who Jesus Christ is so I put Catmas cos EverlastingCatmas sounds even gayer, actually this whole story is quite gay, but anyway enjoy it.

p.s Macavity gets to rejoin the tribe! Woo!

A joyful atmosphere lay over the wintry junkyard. A large tree, which had been acquired with the help of MungoJerrie and his accomplice RumpleTeazer, now stood in the centre and was decorated by many small, bright bits of junk making it glisten and shine. White snow settled over everything much to the amazement of the kittens who had never seen snow before. Plato had been brave enough to eat some and wrinkled his nose in disgust. "Bah humbug!" Macavity spat as he watched the jolly Jellicles laugh and chat around the huge tree. If you were to look inside a Jellicle you would see that they had a heart but if you were to look inside Macavity you would find nothing just a black hole. "I hate Catmas time! All the happiness and cards and presents I hate it! Don't you Chester?!" "Err yes?" Chester replied dumbly. Macavity was on his own except for Chester, all his henchcats had gone home for the holiday. "If I could just take away Catmas and see the unhappiness on their faces. That would make my day!"

"How could you boss?

"I don't know do I! Your supposed to be the brains here any idea!?"

"Uhhh."

"Trust me to keep behind a dumb one."

"Boss guess what."

"What!"

"I got you a present for Catmas boss do you want it? I love Catmas don't you boss?"

"No you idiot!" Macavity lost his temper and biffed Chester on his face sending him sprawling across the floor.

"Sorry boss I won't get you another present."

"Wait! What did you just say?!"

"What?"

"What did you just say?"

"I said what."

"No! Before that fool!"

"I won't get you another present."

"That's it!?"

"What's what?"

"If I take away their presents and they won't get presents, the tree and their cards there'll be no Catmas. Muahahahaha-" Chester cut of Macavity's evil laugh with "What's so funny boss?"

"The plan all good evil plotters have one because they're cool."

"Oh. What's the plan again boss?"

"Idiot!" Macavity hit Chester again sending him back across the floor. "It's to steal there presents so there is no Catmas!"

"Well how you gonna do that?"

"I have an idea now come on we've got a costume make!"

"Jenny…" Etcetera bounded up to the plum Jennyanydots. "Can you tell the story of Santa Paws again?" "Etci love I've told you it about 15 times why don't you ask Skimble?" Jenny replied wearily. Every year she would have to tell all the kittens about Santa Paws over and over again, it was time Skimbleshanks did it for once instead. "Ok!" Etci shrieked before running to the Scottish tom with the other excited kittens to ask him to tell them. "Aye I'll tell you lass all you kits sit down and I'll tell you it. Once there was a cat called Nicholas Paws. He travelled around the world giving presents to bonnie wee kits far and wide. Then one day he died-" Skimbleshanks had to stop as the kittens muttered "awww!" "Aye he died kits but the Everlasting Cat saw his kindness and brought him back to life. Now he lives forever giving present to all the good kittens. But if your bad he gives you rotten fish! Now who's gonna be a good wee kitten so Santa Paws will give them their presents?" "Me! Oh Me!" All the kittens chorused. "Right well it's bedtime kits." Jenny called "Awwww man!" The kittens chorused once more. "Aye to bed!" Skimble agreed. "But Jenny!" Whined Tumblebrutus while lying on the floor. "No buts! Bedtime!" Jenny ordered the kittens who, although very moodily, trooped of to bed. "Thank heaviside for that. Now see this rag doll Skimble, would Etci want it?"

"So what's the costume for?" Chester asked as he stitched the red cloth together. "Santa Paws wears a red suit it says in the story dumbass I need to look like him, and you need to look like his sidekick you know Rudolph so get making the brown costume as well!" Macavity ordered the tom. "Well why do I have to be the sidekick?"

"Because you work for me anyway! Besides all the evil plotters are the main bit when their in disguise."

"Oh. Well why can't you do your own costume?£

"Well why should I? Just do it!"

"Stupid ginger twat."

"What was that?"

"Nothing!"

Half an hour later the suits had been finished and done. "Now we have to wait a couple of days till it actually is Catmas." Said Chester. "Well actually you need to build a sleigh just like the real St Nicholas Paws." Macavity replied matter-of-factly.

"What!" Chester Exclaimed appalled.

"Just do it now get moving we only have a week!"


	2. Chapter 2

Authors note: Sorry I haven't done the next chapter in ages R+R

The happy season had caused Tugger and Bombalurina to be a lot flirtier than usual, much to Etceteras annoyance. "What do you want for Christmas Bomba?" Tugger smirked and swaggered closer to her. "You know very well what I want for Catmas _Tugger._" She giggled and put her arms around him. "I'll kill her!" Etcetera spat as Electra held her back from the pair of teasing, playing Jellicles. "No Etci if you do you won't get any presents!" She warned. "St Nicholas will give you rotten fish instead of presents!" "Dammit I have to wait!" Etcetera hissed "Well I can still plan it!"

Chester stepped back to admire his handiwork. The sleigh was 3 thick bits of cardboard roped together tightly and on top of this was a dustbin which had been tied on top with a rope attached to it so it could be pulled along. "Macavity err boss! I've done it!" Macavity jumped down, from the platform that overlooked the junkyard, to inspect the sleigh. "What is it?" He asked, bemused. "The sleigh!" Chester replied, as if it was the most obvious question ever. "That... That… thing is a sleigh?" He didn't give Chester a chance to defend his masterpiece but carried on. "Well it will have to do it's Catmas eve and tonight we'll be carrying out at my foolproof plan! Muahahahahahahahahahaaaa- How's my evil, plotting laugh doing?" " Brilliant boss."

"Thought so now get moving you lazy sod we have to get to the junkyard entrance. By the way what's that rope for?" Macavity asked.

"It's to pull it… But we don't have anything to pull it boss." Chester rambled on.

"Actually we do." Macavity looked slyly at Chester.

"Boss! No, I am not pulling that thing!"

"GET PULLING IT NOW!" Macavity raised his paw to punch Chester who darted over to the rope immediately.

"Yes boss!"

"Teazah?" MungoJerrie nudged his mate gently. "Jerrie? Wot is it?" The calico queen replied groggily and sat up in her bed.

"Oi'm poppin' out fer a min Oi'll be back soon awight?"

"Ite gissus a kiss then."

Jerrie kissed her gently on her cheek before sneaking out to the cold night on Victoria Grove.

"Munk can't you let Alonzo cover for the guard and come back home tonight?" Demeter pulled on her mate's silver-black fur. "Dems I don't think I can and besides I like doing the night protection." Munkustrap replied pulling his arm away. "Munkustrap you are going to wait here till I get Alonzo and then you are going to come home and spend time with me and Jemima, your daughte remember her?!" Demeter ordered him and stalked off to find Alonzo. " Queens!" Munkustrap muttered under his breath and slumped against the wall.

"Look Alonzo's on guard." Macavity pointed to the entrance from behind the dumpster. "So?" Chester didn't see why Alonzo was any different to Munkustrap except that he was black and white. "So you idiotic idiot it'll be easy to take him out and get in. Wait here until I call you." Macavity strode off to the entrance, leaving Chester to hold the sleigh.

There was a loud bang and a groan and several other loud noises before Macavity called for Chester to come. They sauntered past Alonzo laughing at him as they passed and Macavity even did his evil laugh which was getting better all the time. Alonzo had been tied by his tail to the entrance. "C'mon Chester we can't hang about here Alonzo might tail us." Macavity laughed at his crappy joke.

"I don't get it." Chester said.

"Idiot!"

Oh where are ya?" Jerrie muttered to himself as he scrabbled around in the wreckage. "Where is it? Oi knew it wos ere! Aha!" Jerrie snatched up a glittering pearl necklace with a collar that had pearls studded on it. "This'll do noicely fer Teazah." Suddenly he heard footsteps.  
"Where's what?" Chester came out looking confused.  
"Chester? Macavity? Wot you ere for?"  
"I could ask you the same thing." Macavity smiled slyly.  
"Getting a present fer Teazah."  
"Ello Jerrie!" Chester waved energetically at MungoJerrie who smirked slightly and waved back.  
"Shut up Chester. RumpleTeazer? Where is she? Hiding?"  
"She ain't ere Oi'm gettin er present innit. Err why are ya wearin' that?"  
"Doesn't matter come here and give me a hand with this Chester looks like he's about to collapse under it." Macavity pointed at the sleigh which was now piled high with presents.  
"Wot is it?"  
"A sleigh now are you going to help me or not?"  
"Sure where do ya wants it?"

"Is everyone here?" Etcetera called into the horde of kits. "I think so Etci." Electra replied. "Great now come on Operation: See Santa Paws!"

"Isn't this bad?" Tumblebrutus spoke up. "We should be in bed."

"Stop bein' such a baby Brutus!" His friend Pouncival slapped him on his back. "Look someone's coming!" Tantomile squealed and the kittens scattered to their hiding places.

"Thanks Jerrie have a nice Catmas." Macavity thanked Jerrie.

"And you mate Seeya." Jerrie scampered out of the junkyard entrance and turned right.

Macavity walked up to the centre where the kittens lay in wait for their beloved St Nick. "Look it's him!" Etcetera shrieked. "It's Santa Paws get him!"


End file.
